Blog #10 - Dialogue to Move the Story Forward

Sorry, this is kind of brief...

ANDREW

Have you ever thought about going back to school? It has been a while since you have gone.

HAYLEY

NO! I will never go back to that rotten place. I can't go there and let people see the way that I look! It would be humiliating!

ANDREW

But you were so popular and everything! Everyone liked you of at least acted like they did. Don't you miss all of your friends?

HAYLEY

Well, yeah. Of course I miss them, but I just don't want to go back. you wouldn't understand...

ANDREW

What wouldn't I understand? I know I have really only known you for about two months, but I feel like it's been so much longer! We spend almost eight hours a day together once I get home from school. Why is it that big of a deal if you go back? What are you afraid of?

HAYLEY

Nothing! I just don't want to be judged like this....

Blog #9 - Dialogue for Relationships with Characters

(Hayley's voice can be heard from in the trees, but she is not seen.)

HAYLEY

What are you doing?!



(Andrew stops with a very suprised look on his face. He did not expect to hear someone's voice while out coollecting food for his family. He begins looking all around and sees Hayley jump out of a tree wearing oversized clothing and the hood of her sweatshirt is pulled over her head so that one cannot see her face.)

ANDREW

Hayley Smith? Is that you? What are you doing out here? I haven't seen you in forever! (He gives a friendly smile)

HAYLEY

Yeah! Hey Andrew! I haven't seen you since middle school! We used to be such good friends! Its been a while. I didn't know you guys lived out here. Didn't you used to live on the street behind my house?

ANDREW

Yeah. We moved out of there a few years ago. Ever since my dad lost his job it's been really hard. Now our only source of income is whatever my mom gets while working at the diner four nights a week. It's been kinda hard but we make it work and I love it here in the woods in our small cabin home. Everything is so much easier. What are you doing out here? We usually don't see anyone in these woods.

HAYLEY

 I'm sorry about your dad. Thats gotta be hard. But me...I'm just...ummm...on a camping trip. I forgot a lot of my stuff at home that I need, but I'm doing alright so far.

ANDREW

Do you need anything else? Our house is right ove that hill if you want something.

HAYLEY

Thanks. I might take you up on that later.

Blog #8- Writing Good Dialogue

The three most important things:
1. In the script, it's important to reveal the characters' relationships to one another.
2. The script must move the story forward.
3. Keep the script intersesting with the dialogue; leave out stuff that doesn't need to be in there.

Blog #7-Parts of The Hollywood Formula

Opening Scene: The first thing that one would see if this was ever turned into an actual screen play would be a the ourside of a large high school. The camera would zoom in until it got to the sign of the front of the school, at the sign, and all you see is the name of the school. The viewer would then hear the bell ring. After one hears the bell ring, it would then cut to a group of three pretty girls. They all think that they are the greatest thing that that school has, but there is one out of the three that clearly thinks she is the best of all. The viewer then sees a poor kid trip, fall, and drop all of his belonings. All that the self centered girls can do is laugh. While this child is picking up all of his loose papers, he sees three different guys walk up to the one in that group of girls who all give her a kiss and they tell eachother that they love eachother. The other two girls clearly do not feel comfortable with the situation, but go along with it for popularity. The viewer would see that this girl is obviously cheating on these three guys and none of the three guys have any idea. One then sees the other guy, still sitting on the ground collecting the last of his things. The last thing you see in the scene is the boys getting up and leaving.

Inciting Incident: At this part in the script is where all goes wrong for the protagonist, Hayley. That boy who dropped all of his things is the hall decided to show up at her house one night. He pretended to be nice to her and decided to bring her her favorite kind of tea from the near by coffee shop. Little did she know that the boy had put some sort of potion in it. After drinking the tea, she gets quite tired and tells the boy that she needs to go to sleep now and politely ushers him out the door. When she wakes up the next morning, she looks in the mirror and does not like what she sees. The porion that the boy put in the tea made her so hideous that not even she herself could look at it in the mirror. She calls the boy and he explains everything to her that she needs to know. After finding out what is going on, Hayley takes off into the woods where she thinks no one will ever find her or have to see her again.

Having Fun and Getting to Know Your Characters: At this point in the script, Hayley is off in the woods and doing her best to find a way in which she can stay there forever. It's not going so well for her and there are times that she contemplates going back home to tell her parents the truth. Anyway, she has met this guy from her high school, whose name is Andrew. The two are becoming good friends. Andrew is trying to teach Hayley how he and his family are living in the woods on such a little income, and he and his family have even offered to let her stay at their home. They are nice people and refuse to judge her based on the way that she looks.

Blog #6 - Script Outline

1. Set Up: The story takes place in a modern day high school in Southern California. The name of the school is not important and does not need to be mentioned. The story starts off in the school at the end of the school day when all the kids are just getting out of class. Hayley is with her two friends, Amber and Danielle, who she is always bossing around. Amber and Danielle are probably just as beautiful as Hayley, but are way nicer.

2. Inciting Incident: Because of what I am doing for my script, it is pretty clear what the inciting incident is. I am doing a twist on the well known movie and musical/play of Beauty and the Beast. Because enough people are sick of the way Hayley is acting and treating people, a quieter boy at school, Ryan, who is sick of the way he especially is treated, decides to change the way Hayley looks by putting a spell on her. The only way that the spell can be broken is if she can finally learn to treat everyone as equals and finds true love.

3. Some Rising Action: 1)Because she doesn't like the way that she looks, Hayley runs away to go live in the woods where she thinks no one will ever have to see her in her ugly state. 2)She meets a boy from her school, Andrew, who's family isn't very rich and is living in a small, beat up looking, cabin in the woods. She had no idea that he even existed. 3)Andrew brings Hayley home to his family and they help her in any way that they can. 4)Andrew and Hayley finally start becoming friends and Andrew starts teaching her how they survive on little income.

4. Description of Climax: At this part in the script, Hayley and Andrew get into a huge fight. Andrew tries to convince her to come back to school. She does not want this because she does not want people to judge her because of the way that she looks because she did it to so many others for so long.

5. Description of Falling Action: In this part of the screen play, she finally realizes that she can care about people and that every thing is not about the way people look. She becomes content with her new life in the woods where everything is much more simple. She is happy with the way that things are going between her and Andrew. She is happy to just have a frinds who she can talk to that is not going to judge her based on the way that she looks.

6. Resolution: In the end, everything works out like everyone might be able to predict that it would. Hayley ends up falling in love with Gordon. Because she ends up learning to accept people for who they are and not just by the way that they look. The whole point of the story is to help prove that there is more to love than looks and that true love should be based on something far more important than looks.

Blog #5 - The Revised Logline

When a beautiful, mean, self-centered girl is turned hideous, she must learn to love even the most unattractive of people, or stay in her ugly state forever.

Blog #4 - The Script Logline

When a beautiful, mean, self-centerd girl is turned hideous, she must learn to love even the most hideous person, or stay in her ugly state forever.

Blog #3: Six-Word Memoirs That I Like

1) Don't underestimate short girls, we bite.
           I really like this one because I too am short and feel as though sometimes people underestimate me because of that. I feel like this happens to a lot of people who are not very tall and it's not fair. I think that everyone deserves a chance and to not be underestimated at all, especially based on their height. This six-word memoir made me feel frustrated and almost angry because for a long time now, people have had to make some sort of comment about my height. I understand that most of the time most of those who make comments are just joking, but it gets annoying after a while.

2) Jesus makes me new and improved.
           This is one of my favorites! I like it a lot because I am a Christian and it helps me to know that I can rely on Him for anything. I know that even when I mess up or make a big mistake, I can ask for His forgiveness and it will be give. I know that I can't do it all perfectly, but with His help, I can be new and improved.

3) Best intentions, mixed results, still trying.
          I like this one because I do try my best and sometimes it just doesn't work. Just because it doesn't always work though, does not mean that I will ever stop trying. I think that this six-word memoir sends a positive message because I feel like it gives encouragement  to continue trying even it it does not work out like you expected the first time.

4) I just fired my inner critic.
         I like this one a lot because I think that it's something that we all need to do. Many times we hold ourselves back and if we were not constantly criticizing ourselves, we could show everyone who we really truly are. There are many times where I wish I wasn't so hard on myself about a lot of things. If I too could fire my inner critic, I think that it would make me a much happier person.

5) Would appreciate a day of boredom.
         This one really speaks to me because I feel like my family is always running to get to some place on time or that we have 10,000 things to do in one day. Most of the time I enjoy it, but there are other times where I just want to go home and take a long nap on the couch. I don't know what I would do if I wasn't always busy, but sometimes we all need a day to ourselves where we can be bored and be able to relax.

There are many things that I plan to improve on during this semester. For example, I hope to make the length of each of my entries longer. If I am able to do this, that means that I taking more care in my work by not exactly caring about what I write, I care less about what others are going to think, and that I am less concerned about writing a perfect first draft. After all, there is always something good in a piece of writing. I would also like to try new things, like strategies of types of writing and not be afraid to go out of my comfort zone. I would also like to become more confident in my writing and care less about what people are going to think about it. I think that if I continue to write and get more practice, I can get improve on both of these things. I think that the most important things in this course for me are going to be hard work and making sure that I stay focused.

Hello and welcome to my first creative writing blog! I was told to take this class from my sister for my senior elective. She told me that it was a fun class and that she really enjoyed it, and so hard it has been quite enjoyable. I have never really enjoyed writing in the past, but I like the kind of writing that we have done in the class so far because I have a lot of freedom to just write about what ever comes into my mind. I think that my biggest problem with  writing is that I am always concerned about making mistakes and about people judging my writing.

Outside of writing, I am a much different person. I am far less concerned about what others think. I am very outgoing and I will talk to almost everyone, but I won't reveal all information about me until I really get to know you. This spring I will be be graduating form Penfield and I am very excited to move on to other things. My experience here has been pretty good for the most part, but I am ready to move on.

i hope that throughout this course I will become more confident in my writing. I hope that by the end of this course I will be able to write and not hold back and not be afraid of writing a really bad first draft.

I appologize if this first one was boring or poorly written. I hope to get better at these and make it more enjoyable to read.